Love and Marriage(?)

Love and Marriage. This is the topic that has been circling the class this week. Learning about different cultures and their different ideas of marriage has truly been an interesting journey to set upon. Growing up in the American culture, I learned that when a person falls in love they get married, move away from their parents, buy a house and start a family; this is what we call the “American dream”. Our goal is to move away from our loved ones and start living independently so that we can be considered normal Americans that don’t live with their parents until they’re thirty or so. To us this is a great thing; to become independent and move away from our old lives so that we can pursue our own dreams and aspirations. But what about the family left behind? Many other cultures take this into consideration and have been using marriage as a way to keep the family close and property in each other’s hands.

The readings this week have talked about many different styles of marriages and what other cultures consider to be a good marriage. Some involve a woman marrying into a family of brothers in order to keep property within the family and avoid confrontation when having to divide lands; other marriages are arranged by the parents who are more experienced in the ways of love and matching up couples. The more I read what other cultures believe is the way to go for marriage, really made me rethink what our culture calls a typical marriage. Step 1: Find love. Our culture is constantly saying (even without knowing) that in order to live a happy life, you have to find that “one “person to be with and live the rest of your life with that person. If you don’t find someone to share your life’s experiences with, then you are either called a spinster or are just truly considered an outsider within your community. Step 2: Get married and move away. This is an interesting step because when learning about other cultures this week, they get married in order to make the family closer quite literally in some cases. Families move into each other’s houses in order to keep each other safe, keep themselves company, and to be able to share the workload. I’m sure my mother wouldn’t mind having a little more help around the house these days, and as they say, many hands make light work!

Since I already mixed step 3 (start your own life) with step 2, this just leaves me time to ponder about how our society decided to deal with marriage? I know there are many people out there who are truly against the idea of marriage and all that is has to offer (or not offer), but to some, marriage is the dream they always wish to grab. To me, marriage is about love and finding that someone special but it also has to be about communication and family. Of course I think this because I’ve been raised in a culture where love is the underlying factor when deciding to get married, but in other cultures this could seem completely mad. The basic idea of this week was to open our eyes to the idea of marriage and see how other cultures treat marriage and the bond between people (or land). Marriage is what you make it, whether it’s for family or sustainability, or just to have that extra support when you go home after a long day, marriage is something that each culture takes into consideration when planning out their future and their children’s future.